Day 53 of Governor Newsom’s “Blueprint for a Safer Economy”

Me, having a nervous breakdown…

Monday. 10/19/20.

7:30 - 10:30 - I’m up and ready for the first day of school. When I go downstairs, the dog is out of it and still sleeping. I have to rub her tummy several times before she will go outside with me. Once outside, she goes potty and we return. Cheese. I grab my coffee and go to work (enter home office).

Class starts at 8:30 and numerous emails from students are coming in, asking for the Zoom link [there is no Zoom] and where to sign in. Most of the students are confused because my format is different so I have to coddle them for fear that they will tell Administration that I’m NOT doing Zoom. My class is still synchronous, per the rules, but why reinvent the wheel if you can record a lecture once and continually play it? My colleagues are late to the party on that and dutifully show up every day for their online Zoom classes.

As first days go, it’s pretty chill. The students have to open the Syllabus [word doc] and the Audio Syllabus for the first 30 minutes of Lecture. Then, it’s time for the Chapter 1 Google Slides and a 45-minute, pre-recorded Lecture; followed by a 15-minute video. The first week, I’m just trying to acclimate them to format and routine, similar to what Kindergarten teachers do when they start the school year. There are rules and routines that need to be learned in order for the class to run smoothly and the students need to get the hang of it.

For example, the students must sign in at 8:30 because this is a synchronous class. However, many of them are used to standard online courses where time is not an issue. My class is NOT one of those. Administration has deemed my classes “synchronous”, so I really don’t have a choice. We have to meet from 8:30-10:05, every Monday through Thursday. Although I sent two emails AND the Syllabus to each student last week, several students are signing in on the Discussion Board at 9:30 and some of them signed in AFTER class had ended.

I have the same issue that I had before with the same Chinese student I dropped from my other class a few weeks ago. He refused to sign in on the Discussion Board so after 5/6 absences I dropped him. Now, he’s in this class and has NOT signed in on the Discussion Board. I start an email thread wherein I tell him that he absolutely must sign in at 8:30. After back and forth exchanges of garbled English, he finally signs in at 9:30. I remind him that we’ve had this conversation before and if he signs in late again, he’s dropped. He doesn’t understand and continues to complain that it’s not fair, he signed in and is technically “here.” I keep repeating “8:30”; “8:30”; “8:30” until something shifts and he finally gets it. His last sentence comes in loud and clear, surprisingly in perfect English: “Ok. I’m not used to this computer learning. It’s the first day”, as if to say, give me a break, I get it already.

Usually, with standard online courses, instructors post all of their content at once, in preparation for the day or week. I call it a ‘data dump'. My class is NOT one of those. It’s synchronous so the assignments are posted in real time, sequentially, and my students are not used to that. As class rolls on, I receive email after email telling me that they can’t find the link to the video. I have to keep directing them back to the Discussion Board where I note - and will every day until the semester ends - when the quizzes and video links will deploy.

Other students email and say they can’t figure out what we’re doing. I guess they’re so confused their head’s about to explode. I have to continuously email the Syllabus to the students, where it clearly states what we will be doing, every day, until the semester ends. This is after already emailing it last week, posting it to Canvas, and actually going over it at the beginning of class this morning in my pre-recorded lecture.

One student emails that he is not sure this class will mesh with the time constraints of his job and can I tell him what activities we’ll be doing for the semester? I email the same thing, over and over today, to the students, “Attached, again, for your review is the Syllabus. The Syllabus lists all upcoming assignments.” It’s almost as if they’ve never seen a Syllabus - have other instructors gone away from that? Not sure. These kids don’t read ANYTHING.

The last 30 minutes of class they start hammering me about the missing video link. I have to keep directing them back to the Discussion Board where I state that the video link will be posted at 9:45. “Yes, you’re correct, the link to the video is NOT there yet, because this is a “synchronous” class and I post course content in real time. Please see the Discussion Board where it states when the video link will post.” If they were truly kindergartners, I would be placing my hands lightly on their shoulders and pivoting them slightly, in the other direction, so they stop running continuously into the wall, like a wind-up toy. Class ends at 10:30, but now it’s time for after-class paperwork.

10:30-11:00. I email all students who were absent today and ask if they are still interested in being enrolled in this class. If they don’t sign in tomorrow, I will have no choice but to drop them. Then, I check the Discussion Board and email all students, individually, who signed in after 8:45 that this is a synchronous class and they must sign in at 8:30. Technically, they’re late if they sign in at 8:45. If it’s after 9:00, that’s an absence. Many students like to ignore this rule, sleeping in, then logging onto Canvas the last 10 minutes, just in time to complete the quizzes. No. I don’t allow that.

They change their tune pretty quickly once they discover that their scores are converted to 0s if they don’t sign in on the Discussion Board. If you haven’t signed in, you’re absent and you can’t take an in-class quiz if you’re not in class. You just lost 10 points because you couldn’t get out of bed at 8:30. In the Covid-19 era, you don’t even have to get out of bed. L. wakes up right before her lectures and logs into her laptop when she is still in bed. Once lecture is over, she goes back to sleep.

11:00-11:30 - I have some peach cobbler and read a Money Diary.

11:30-12:45 - I have my script and audio clips ready from last night so I record lecture for my 2:30 class today.

12:45 - 2:20 - I wake up L. and ask her to airdrop my audio file into Canvas, along with my Public Announcements. The PAs go fine, but the lecture that I just recorded won’t load. L. thinks the AUDIO file is corrupt and tries everything to get it into Canvas, to no avail. At 1:00, I have to make a decision. We abort the mission and I run downstairs to re-record the entire lecture. I really have to move it along because class starts at 2:30 and it took me 1.5 hours to record lecture initially. As I record, I think, “What will I do if this happens again? I’ll have no lecture for this afternoon.” Neither L. nor I know why the audio file was corrupted.

I finish at 2:20, L. loads it, and I post it to Canvas just in time. Things were going so great - for most of the morning, I was ahead, until I had to re-record my lecture. Now I’m behind.

2:30-5:30 - Class rolls on and I update my classes at College No. 2 so the course content is ready for tomorrow and grade a few papers from Specialty Class No. 2.

I have left-over salad from the soiree.

5:30-7:00 - I take a shower and wash my hair, then braid it while I read Welcome to Wherever We Are.

7:00-9:00 - I eat the rest of my salad in my room and have a glass of champagne. When I’m finished, I put my tray to the side and continue reading Welcome to Wherever We Are when….

9:00-10:30 - I talk to B.

Well, it’s been three days since I’ve exercised and I can NOT let a fourth go by - otherwise, I’m a sloth. I turn my app on and try to get motivated.

11:00-12:00 - I do a 1-hr HIIT full body circuit with 5-pound weights and it. is. a. slog. Very hard to get through. The full body circuit ends with floor work, where I’m on my back pulling each leg to my chest to stretch out my hamstring when…

12:45 - 1:00 - I guess I fell asleep. On my back, on the floor. Can we say “narcolepsy?” I already took a shower and did my night time routine so I go to bed.