Day 48 of the California quarantine

I’ve read a lot of feel-good stories acknowledging the “humanity” of people in this time of crisis. How communities are sticking together to secure their safety and ensure they don’t die. How caring everyone has become. I hear stories about the trials and tribulations college students are undergoing and the stress they are under. How important it is to be kind to them and see them through this.

I must be living in some other part of the pandemic. What’s that zip code again? Where the horrible, entitled people live? Here are two words to sum up the interactions I have had with my college students. No grace.

Apparently, my students believe I, and I alone, am responsible for the pandemic, Covid-19, and the ‘virtual education’ fiasco they are forced to endure. Somehow, me, their adjunct instructor, has caused this mess. I can honestly say, in 18 years of teaching, that I have never been treated this poorly. Let me give you a few examples. Sit with me for a minute. Take a load off while you swallow your hydroxychloroquine and beam UV light down your throat. These are my stories:

-I never received Student D’s paper and placed a 0 for that assignment in the online grade book. Around 12:00 midnight, the student began emailing me continuously, insisting that he had submitted the paper and sending indecipherable screen shots as a testament to the fact that he is telling the truth. Student D. appeared to be shouting at me. He insisted that I change the grade. Now. In 10 minutes, he sent me 6 emails, along with his paper, which was actually a week late. The paper was poorly written. Grade=7 (out of 20).

Student D. didn’t realize that one of the emails he sent was attached to a thread we had a week earlier, wherein I had, kindly, reached out to him, on the due date, informing him that I still didn’t have his paper and was waiting for it. He responded to that email, a week ago, with “What’s your email address again?” and then nothing.

-Student R. emailed me that she was having difficulty accessing the video link that I had provided on the Canvas platform. I emailed back immediately and suggested she try the Google Chrome search engine. I mentioned that several students had already taken the quiz so I was sure that this would resolve the issue. I didn’t hear from her.

Two days later, I received a scathing email from Student R. informing me that she was unable to access the video and, thus, could not take a 10-question video quiz. Student R. appeared to be yelling at me. She ‘screamed” at me that this “was becoming unfair” even though 2 days ago was the first I had heard of ANY issue and I thought it had been resolved. She said her grade “was beginning to suffer.”

I immediately emailed her the script to the movie in question and encouraged her to take the video quiz after reading the first 20 pages. I explained that I had no idea that my Google Chrome search engine suggestion had not worked and that I always have alternatives ready for students. I asked what she meant by “becoming unfair” - were there previous issues she had experienced and never shared them with me? I told her I was sure I could have resolved them, had I only known.

I never heard from Student R. again. She has a solid A in the class.

-Student J. emailed me that he was deemed an “essential employee” and had been extremely busy during the Covid-19 crisis. He asked if he could make-up his missed assignments. Before the Corona crisis, the student had failed to complete approximately 12 to 15 assignments. No.

-Student K. was late to class three times before my college was abruptly shut down on 3/16/20 and had completed none of her assignments. We converted to virtual education and she missed the Midterm on 4/13/20. Two weeks after the Midterm, when we have just four weeks left in the semester, Student K. surfaced and asked if he she could make up her missed assignments AND the Midterm because she did not have WiFi previously. Of course, this begs the question, “How are you able to contact me now?”

Before the Corona crisis, Student K. had failed to complete approximately 15 assignments, even when our Learning Center, complete with computers and WiFi available for all students was open. When we converted to virtual education, Student K. continued her streak, completing almost nothing. No.

Student K. replied. She appeared to be yelling at me. She “screamed” that she had never wanted an online class and it wasn’t fair that she would not be allowed to make up what were now 30 assignments AND the Midterm. “I didn’t ask for this”, she “yelled.” Well, does she think I did? Does Student K. think any of us “asked for this?” Globally, millions of people have become infected and thousands have died. Did our fallen loved ones “ask for this?” I suggested that she withdraw with a W while she still had time. Student K. has a 15% in the class. She withdrew.

-Student D. emailed me a strange screen shot with no explanation. Why do students think that a screen shot is, somehow, their best evidence…for anything? Typically, the image that comes across is some blob that I don’t understand. I emailed Student D. and explained that I was in receipt of a screen shot from her, but had no idea what I was looking at. Student D. explained that she had received a 28% on a recent quiz because she had inadvertently purchased the wrong book - it was an earlier edition twice removed - and she wanted the grade reversed.

I was confused and pointed out to Student D. that she has had the wrong edition the entire semester but has done quite well on all prior chapter quizzes. How was that possible? Chapter 9, in our current edition, had not been completely rewritten. Why had she done so poorly on this particular quiz? She responded several times with non-sequitur answers, but I continued to press. Finally, Student D. confessed that her poor score was NOT a result of using the wrong text. She had deliberately failed to complete the quiz because she was ‘busy.’ She logged out, prior to finishing the test, and received an F. Student D. wanted to know if she could now re-take the test? No.

-With 5 weeks left in the semester, I informed Student J. that he had not completed any of his assignments and would receive an F in the class if he did not withdraw in the next four days. Student J. asked if it was possible to pass the class without a text book? No. Student J. responded, “You mean I need a book to pass the class?”” Yes.

-Student L. and I have exchanged approximately 30-40 emails, primarily about a software problem she is experiencing that can only be resolved by our publisher. I sent her the publisher’s help desk contact information and instructed her to complete a work order ticket for the issue, which she did. Every time our publisher responds, Student J., instead of following the publisher’s instructions, which are clear and addressed to her, screen shots the instructions to ME. Then, I email her my response, which is word-for-word what the publisher already emailed to her and taken from the screen shot she sent me. Did I say 30 to 40 emails?

-Looking for some extra feedback, Student C. gave me a draft of a paper that was due, 7 weeks in advance. I spent substantial time providing edits and comments and scanned the paper to him. He then submitted the paper, allegedly incorporating my edits and comments, now 6 weeks in advance. When I failed to GRADE the paper two weeks after receiving it, now due FOUR weeks in advance, Student C. emailed me, complaining that he had submitted his paper and where was his grade? Did I mention that I have approximately 120 students spread out over four classes…

I graded his paper, now due THREE weeks in advance, and noticed that a significant section of his paper was missing the comments and edits I had previously provided - he had made no changes.

-Student I. emailed, thanking me for assigning the documentary, Knock Down The House. She said she found it so inspiring that she was going to watch it with her daughter. That was all Student I. wanted to say. Grace.

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7:45 - 9:00 a.m. - the dog was barking so I come downstairs to take her outside. Cheese. L. and I planned to start painting at 9:00. I listen to The Daily and Today Explained [in particular, the episode Why Sweden stayed open?]. I drink a 16-oz Hydroflask of lemon water.

9:00-11:00 - Still no L. I read Leaving the Witness and drink my Death Wish coffee. I grade two more extra credit essays.

11:00- 1:30 - L. comes into my room and says, “Let’s paint!” as if she isn’t two hours late to the party. I honestly don’t care - she’s so funny, it’s impossible to be mad at my daughter, my only child, my little girl…[she’s actually 18].

We knock it out. Two coats of primer and then we break for our scheduled activities. I have a French class from 2:00-5:00, and L. has to teach an art class, via Zoom, at 3:30.

1:45-2:45 - I shower and wash and braid my hair. Lubriderm. Get dressed. I have three spoonfuls of my overnight oats that I made, like, THREE nights ago, and give the rest to the dog. She will vomit later today.

3:00-5:00 - I Zoom in to my French literature class, an hour late. There are still 12 students, but only three students show their faces. I am NOT one of the three. My teacher is unbelievably kind and really trying with this Zoom thing. I would never dream of emailing her or speaking to her the way my students speak to me.

I have a short essay due today on a book that I chose - The Transient Hour, by Marcel Ayme - because it reminds me of A French Village and The Man in the High Castle [I assigned the High Castle text and series to my International Relations students] where different segments of society are in the process of being colonized by occupying forces. I work on it during class, but the only problem is I cannot find adequate source material for this particular book. I find a 1948 book review on the New York Times website and actually try to join as a subscriber so I can access it, but the website keeps kicking me off. I do the best I can with some of the material I found and write a 2-paragraph essay which should be enough. I submit it right after class ends.

5:00-5:30 - I eat the cheese tortellini I made - it’s on its last legs - and clean the kitchen between spoonfuls.

5:45-6:45 - I go for a bike ride, looking for the Magic Mountain path that I’ve heard good things about. It’s a hard trek because it’s windy and I’m riding against the wind and slightly uphill. My bike doesn’t have gears so my legs start burning and I’m going slow. A cyclist passes me about every 5 minutes-the paseos are that crowded - and people are walking, too. I’m not masked and downwind from people after they pass me, some of whom also aren’t masked. Am I inhaling Covid-19 when this interaction occurs? Hard to say. People are walking in clumps, without social distancing - maybe they are quarantining together? I listen to the NPR Politics Podcast and PBS Newshour clips as I ride.

I must have passed the Magic Mtn. path or done something wrong because I can’t find it but I end up near a street where our Wal-Mart is located. I’ve ridden further than expected. Riding home is much easier as it seems downhill and the wind is at my back. When I get home, L. clears up the mistake I made with the mysterious bike path. I think I can find it next time.

6:45-8:00 - I grade two extra credit essays then go upstairs to continue painting.

8:30-10:00 - We do another coat of primer then wait for it to dry. We listen to Halloween Wars - Season 6, while we paint. This show is our go-to when we clean or do projects.

10:00-11:00 - I finish cleaning the kitchen and unpack deliveries: Mywine.com box and two boxes of hair color. I used to have my hair colored at Super Cuts about every 8 weeks, but salons in California closed because they were deemed non-essential, so I ordered Garnier hair color a few weeks ago and L. helped me with it, for the first time, two Saturdays ago. I was very pleased! and will never return to Super Cuts again. I immediately ordered two back-up boxes of hair color - Total cost was $10.00, for BOTH - and they came yesterday. At last, something positive about Covid-19.

11:00-11:30 - I grade another extra credit essay and have a glass of champagne from one of the bottles that was delivered. It is unbelievably smooth without a hint of bitter or tart. Is this what ‘good’ champagne tastes like?

11:30-1:00 a.m. - I head upstairs and L. and I paint the bathroom with the creamy coffee-color that she selected in February. Well…actually I selected it… L. is usually overwhelmed by interior design and choices must be vetted for her. I thought something in the beige family might look good, so I grabbed a few swatches from Home Depot, held them up to her wall, and asked what she thought. She selected a color and I returned to Home Depot for the paint, which I purchased the first week of March.

1:00-2:00 a.m. - It looks great and, shockingly, does not need another coat, just a few touch-ups in places. I think it was the three coats of primer we did previously. We do a ‘high-5’ and L. starts looking for bath mats and shower curtains online.

2:00-3:00 a.m. - L. and I watch McMillions and I do my night time routine throughout the show.

3:30 a.m. - sleep.