Day 4 of Governor Newsom’s “Blueprint for a Safer Economy”

Never arrived…

The Governor released his kindergarten color chart on 8/28/20, although today is the first I’ve heard of it. Conveniently, the Governor dropped the “Blueprint” as a “Friday news dump” so nobody would know what was going on and push back would be limited. Apparently, Californians are too stupid to understand anything other than a color swatch, but even the “Blueprint” colors are ass-backwards. For example, if you’re in Purple tier, you’re f—ked, with Yellow tier being the safest. What happened to “green light-go?” Green doesn’t exist in this color scheme. If a county is in Red tier, we can go back to breathing and shitting on each other indoors, but only at 25% capacity. Counties remain in “tier purgatory” for 21 days before they’re released to the next rung.

As a point of reference - here’s your 20-second CA Govt. lesson - California has 58 counties. I went to the new website to see how we (LA County) fare only to find that virtually the entire state of California is in Purple tier which means “Widespread”. If I want to get a haircut, I have to travel to Modoc or Alpine Counties - approximately 10 hours away - as they are in Yellow tier. Del Norte and Trinity Counties - population 25 - are holding their own in Orange tier (“Moderate”), right below Yellow. I couldn’t make any further assessments because the website crashed 10 minutes into my viewing.

Godspeed California.

Monday. 8/31/20

9:00 – 11:30 - Up and I go downstairs and say good morning to the dog.  I take her outside and she poops and pees on the Astroturf.  Cheese. Then, I get my coffee and go upstairs.

Shower. I pick out a purple long-sleeved blouse that I would typically wear to work and, today, I go completely ‘glam’ with full face and hair.  In the Covid-19 era, ‘glam’ now means the way I used to look when I went to work. Spoiler alert: Later, it will be established that this was a complete waste of my time.

Last week, one of my students from Specialty Class No. 1 requested a Zoom meeting with me today, at 2:15, but the reason wasn’t entirely clear, even when I directly asked her why – she didn’t respond to that section of the email.

Adjunct instructors don’t get office hours, but BC I would meet with students either before or after class.  Last Monday, the student, N., emailed me at 5:40, after class, stating that she was falling behind and including a Zoom link so she could speak with me. Too presumptuous – does N. really expect me to click on the link instantaneously, just because she sent it?  And the nature of the discussion was unclear. I’m open to scheduling a meeting but I simply don’t have the time in my itinerary to be at a student’s beck-and-call.   I was supportive and encouraging when I responded to the email, but something about the student seemed “off.” 

When I told N. that I don’t have office hours, but could meet with her before class next Monday, at either 2:15 or 5:30, she responded “Wednesday, at 11:00.”  I reiterated what I previously told her: Monday, at either 2:15 or 5:30.  This time, she picked 2:15, stating that “now I’m going to have to remind myself it’s 2:15.”  Uh, yes, it’s called putting it on your calendar and I will ALSO have to remind myself of the meeting that YOU requested, the purpose of which is unclear.

11:30-12:30 – I clean my bathroom and start a load of laundry, then go downstairs and take the trash out.  The trash truck hasn’t come yet so I’m still on time. I have apple slices and peanut butter as I don’t want to eat too much since B. is bringing quesadillas for lunch.  We never settled on a time, so I’m waiting for his text. I read a few Money Diaries.

12:30-1:30 – I tidy up the kitchen then go to work (enter home office).

1:30 – 2:30 - I field emails from students until 2:00 when I start looking for N.’s Zoom link. By 2:25, there is still no Zoom link so I email the student and ask her if we are still meeting.

2:30 – Class starts. Specialty Class No. 1 has reached almost full automation, thus achieving my “vision” for the course.  These students know exactly what they’re supposed to do and my only role involves deploying course content – read ‘pushing a button’ – between 2:30 and 5:35. They rarely live chat with me. Today’s menu is lecture, a Chapter Review quiz, and a 40-minute documentary. I take roll from the Discussion Board and monitor the class. I notice that N. has not signed onto the Discussion Board.

At 2:40, N. emails me that she is looking for the Zoom link for our meeting. I respond, reminding N. that last week SHE included a Zoom link in her email to me – I suggest she do that again. N. says she’s having difficulty getting a Zoom link and tells me to do it.  No.

Class continues.

I check my phone to see if B. texted me about the quesadillas. Nothing.

I tell N. that I can’t access Zoom right now, but offer her the option of a phone call. I tell her that I maintain my students’ privacy by deleting their numbers from my phone immediately after the call. I will also never call them again, UNLESS they request it.

Class rolls on – I push a button and the Chapter 3 Review Quiz materializes for the students.

At 4:30, N. emails “Is class over?  I just got your email.  Here’s my phone number.”  No, N.  Regrettably, class is not over.  As you know, since this is Week THREE, class runs from 2:30-5:35. It appears that N. is not participating in any of the various activities that I’m deploying virtually.

At 5:35, class ends. I call N. but the number SHE provided is disconnected. I email N. that her phone number is disconnected.

Still nothing from B. regarding the quesadillas.

6:00 – 6:30 - I ask L. if she wants to take the dog on a walk with me. She agrees and we circle our neighborhood twice.

6:30 – 7:00 - Home and I check email from College No. 1.  N. has emailed two new numbers so this time I call her cell phone number.  She doesn’t answer so I leave a supportive and encouraging message – I really hope she drops the class.

I go outside to bring in my trashcan.  It is here that I discover Waste Management picked up everyone’s trash can but mine – it is still completely full.

B. texts me, asking for a good time to call.  By now, it’s apparent the quesadillas aren’t coming.

7:00 – 8:30 - L., feeling sorry for me because the quesadillas never arrived, makes me a tostada from the fixings left over from the dinner that she and R. made last Wednesday. She also makes me a killer mocktail that I immediately transform into a cocktail by dousing it with champagne. L. and I. listen to Radio Rental.

L. leaves to spend time with her friends, N. and J.  J. is leaving for Columbia soon - the extension campus is based in Paris.

8:30-9:30 – I talk to B.

9:30-10:30 – I create a loose outline for Specialty Class No. 2 on Thursday. I have a lot of ideas for Thursday’s lecture and I’m going to put everything together tomorrow. I’m pretty jazzed about it.

L. returns.

10:30-11:30 – Night time routine. Bed.