Day 4 - Governor Newsom imposes new restrictions

My last lecture (Thursday classes) at College No. 1…

Thursday. 11/19/20

6:30 – OMG.  I feel terrible.  Class starts in an hour. I’m exhausted and I have horrible cramps.  I take two Advil and return to bed while I wait for it to kick in [exactly 47 minutes later if you must know].

7:30 – I’m up.  Still in pain, I drag myself out of bed and sit down in the shower, leaning my head against the tile.

8:15 – Still in pain from my cramps, I limp downstairs to take the dog out.  Outside and she won’t go potty.  I lean over a patio chair, exclaiming, “Lets go potty.”  If I sit down, I will never get up, I’m in so much pain. She won’t go.  There is no time left  - I have to go inside and post the Discussion Board right. now. Hopefully, she went potty earlier?  Bacon for her and coffee for me.  I go to work.

8:15 – 10:30 – One class this morning.  It’s a straight lecture, but the extra credit essays are due and student after student is emailing me their assignments.  I print their papers during class and confirm receipt.

I update attendance and then check course content for my 7:00 p.m. Core Class tonight.  Everything is there EXCEPT a podcast quiz for the podcast they will be listening to the last hour of lecture.  Somehow, I must have missed that.  I designed the quiz several years ago – it’s just a matter of manually logging it into Canvas.  I get started.

The “dumbest student I’ve ever taught” repeatedly emails me his extra credit assignment.  I reply, “This is the FOURTH time you have emailed me your assignment in a FIVE-minute period.  I am in receipt of your assignment.  Please stop emailing the assignment.”  The “dumbest student I’ve ever taught” responds, “Which version do you have?” and sends two more emails.  I have no idea what that means and don’t bother responding.

11:00 – I check email from College No. 2 and see that some of the students from Specialty Class No. 2 have emailed me their Socratic Seminar assignments.  I print them out and confirm receipt.

11:30 – 1:00 - The “Fed-Ex student” sends an absolute rant, via email, railing about the danger of asking my students to read the El Paso mass shooter’s 2019 Manifesto.  He questions my teaching ability, then demands that we have a Zoom meeting so the students and I can address such a “heavy” topic. No.  He demands a response from me as soon as possible.

I’ve assigned this Socratic Seminar before…so, lets see, out of 60 students who successfully completed the assignment, how many have ever complained about the topic?  None.

I can tell when I read his garbled, hysterical email that he is preparing to go to my Dean.  It’s so obvious. When I craft my response, I prepare it as a possible rebuttal that may very likely be forwarded to my Dean.  This takes an hour out of my day.

He responds, “I love you so much professor.  Thank you for your elaborate response, etc., etc., etc.”  This student is nuts.

I record a PSA [Public Service Announcement] for my 7:00 class tonight.  This is also the last lecture.

1:00 – I step away and have the last of my Ben and Jerrys Fish Food ice cream for breakfast. L. is still not home and my class starts at 2:30.

1:15 – L. is still not home.  The slides aren’t done and there is no lecture for my 2:30 class at this time.

1:30 – I text L. if she needs me to meet her someplace so she can airdrop my lecture.  I gave up on the Google slides that she said she’d create and can use the “janky” PP slides I made last night.  A crappy substitute but better than nothing.  L. doesn’t respond.

1:45 – I text L. again.  Same message.  This is my last lecture and if L. doesn’t air drop this audio file, the students will be doing nothing for the entire 3-hour duration.  L. doesn’t respond.

1:50 – I go outside and sit on the curb, looking down the street for R.’s car.  What will this accomplish?  I have no idea.  I’m in a complete panic.

1:55/2:00 – 2:30 - L. arrives home.  No apology.  Her text hits after she steps inside, informing me “I’m almost home.”  I don’t even bother saying anything – I just want her to airdrop the audio file.  Class is now starting in 20 minutes. She successfully drops it into Canvas from the kitchen counter.  At least the students will have something to listen to for the next three hours. Will they have slides? I don’t know.

L. says she can prepare the Google slides for the 2:30 class. In 20/25 minutes?  I gave up on those an hour ago.

At 2:30, she shares them with me and I post them to Canvas. I’m extremely upset over this entire exchange.  Did I mention there was no apology from L.?  Again, I say nothing.  Why bother?  She obviously doesn’t care and I’m sure she’s sick of air-dropping lectures for me, just as I’m sick of relying on HER to air-drop the lectures for ME.  She’s the only one with the proper technology.  I don’t know what else to do at this point.

2:30-5:30 – Class.  Papers are being emailed to me during the class period.  I print them out as lecture rolls along and confirm receipt. My last lecture ends.

5:30-6:45 – I make a homemade sloppy joe sauce, then brown ground turkey and make steamed rice for an add-in.  I listen to Dr. Death – Season II. Highly recommend.

7:00-10:30 – Class begins.  Last lecture, followed by a podcast (embedded in lecture) and a podcast quiz.  They’re busy. I am absolutely exhausted.  I lay down on my office couch but the dog keeps jumping on my head and licking my ear so I get back up and sit in my chair.  The dog jumps in my lap for kisses and cuddles like she does every day, 8 times a day.

A student emails me, asking where the podcast is.  I reply, “The fact that you’re asking me that question means you didn’t listen to lecture.”  I never hear from him again.

Another student emails me in a panic, stating that he just now realized an assignment that he completed 6 weeks ago didn’t go through.  Can I open it up for him, right now, so he can take it?  No.  I email him that I don’t accept late assignments and refer him to the Syllabus – it wouldn’t be fair to those students who completed the assignments on time.

This is yet another student who treats emails like texts (I don’t get it). He starts sending me garbled emails, 1 or 2 sentences at a time, and we are stepping on each other with our responses.  He says, “Please email me back immediately.  I’m so stressed about this I can’t even concentrate on the podcast.”  I respond, “Please see the email I sent to you FIVE MINUTES after you first contacted me wherein I state that I don’t accept late assignments.  Refer to Page 4, Paragraph 1 of the Syllabus.”  His last email to me is some sort of screen –shot blob and more disjointed, misspelled words. I don’t bother responding.

Class adjourned.  Is this day actually over?  I don’t believe it.

All that is left is the Final in two weeks.  There is no class next week on account of Thanksgiving.

11:00-11:30 – I have some of the sloppy joe mix and champagne.

11:30 – 12:30 – I work on the Discussion Board for my two classes tomorrow morning.  I also need to email two quizzes to a highschooler who has a pre-approved absence, but first I have to manually put them in a Word document.  I finish one quiz and then call it after almost falling asleep at my desk a couple of times.

12:30-1:30 – Night time routine.  Bed.